


The Missing Piece

by Wimmy



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Again, Amnesia, Anyways, Childhood Friends, Drama, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Flashbacks, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, Temporary Amnesia, Underage Drinking, Underage Kissing, excuse me but what does that even mean, lmfaooooooooo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2019-12-25 13:39:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18262427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wimmy/pseuds/Wimmy
Summary: Changbin's memories are gone. He knows he'll be fine, but no one will tell him what happened to him. He's pretty sure that Felix, his childhood best friend, has the answers, but the truth isn't always easy to get.Basically, Changbin has amnesia. Felix is sad about it, and no one tells Changbin about his "accident", so he digs for himself.This came to me in a fever dream, please enjoy it lol





	1. Chapter 1: Awake

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone welcome to The Missing Piece! It's my first Changlix and Stray Kids fic ever, but there's definitely more on the way. Please leave comments and kudos, I'd love to hear what you all think about it. Thank you, and enjoy!

The first thing he felt when he woke up was excruciating pain. His head was ready to explode, and his limbs were on fire. Then he blacked out. 

The second time he woke up, he was numb. He couldn’t feel anything. The only thing he could do was breathe, and open his eyes. 

He knew immediately he was in the hospital. The room was simple, with white walls, a white door, and a white chair to his right. To his left was the equipment he supposed was keeping him alive. The monotonous beeping of the heart monitor filled the room, drowning out the sounds of his shallow breathing. 

He tried sitting up, using his elbows to prop himself up, but the strain was too much. His body was exhausted and refused to work, so he laid back down. He looked down at himself to find that his arms and legs were bandaged,and so was his torso under the hospital gown. What happened? 

He couldn't remember. 

Wait. 

He couldn't remember anything. 

The heart monitor picked up its pace. There wasn't a single memory he could recall. Nothing. His mind was a black void, and he couldn't think straight. He didn't even know what his name was. 

His breathing was no longer shallow, every breath left as quickly as it came, and the heart monitor was getting louder. 

He needed to get out. 

Someone burst in the door. He couldn't see them, his vision was swimming, just a mess of black and white. There was a hand on his shoulder. Something was placed over his mouth. Then, his eyes rolled back. 

\--

When his consciousness came back to him, he was in a different room. The walls were blue. There was a TV on the wall, and there was significantly less equipment he was hooked up to. Also, there was another person in the room. A boy, laying his head on his leg. It hurt like hell. As he tried to shift away, the boy stirred, rubbing his eyes. 

He blinked slowly before gasping and throwing his arms around him. 

“Oh my God, Changbin, you're finally awake!” He cried into Changbin's (he guessed that was his name) shoulder. The death grip the boy had him in pulled at his bandages, making the burning sensation he'd experienced earlier come flooding back. 

“Um… could you maybe let go, you're hurting me.” He rasped. His voice was something just above a whisper, but it was surprisingly low. 

The boy let go, tears streaming down his face. Despite having bloodshot eyes and snot dripping down their face, he was kind of cute, Changbin guessed. Light brown eyes, freckles, and pink lips were accented by sun-kissed skin. He’d look drop dead gorgeous if he wasn’t crying his eyes out then and there. There was a feeling in the back of his mind that somehow, he was special to him. 

“Sorry, Binnie,” The boy sniffled, “I just never thought I'd see you again.”

The boy had an accent. Changbin had to focus all his energy trying to figure out where the accent was from; it was Australian. The boy was Australian and… and he was korean. What was his name? It was at the tip of his tongue. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t know where in the world he was. 

“I’m sorry, but could you tell me where I am?” Changbin asked. The boy was frozen, jaw hanging, eyes wide. 

“What… what d’ya mean, Binnie? We’re home, like we’ve always been.” The boy said, wiping the tears from his face. Changbin sighed. The kid didn’t know he couldn’t remember anything, so he’d just tell him straight, there wasn’t any point in beating around the bush anyway. 

“Sorry, but I honestly don’t know where we are. I don’t have any memories.” Changbin said, looking the boy in the eyes. The were a silence that followed. The boy was staring at him again, and Changbin was starting to feel a bit awkward and annoyed. Finally, the boy’s gaze dropped down.

“Oh.” was all that he said. 

He wordlessly got up and left the room, leaving Changbin alone. He really didn’t know what to think about what just happened. That boy… his name was literally just about to come to him. It started with an F, no a Y… It was both? 

Felix, that was his name. Where did the Y come from?? He was too tired to think anymore, so he let himself drift off into a dreamless sleep. 

\--

“Unfortunately, Mr. and Mrs. Seo, your son has a classic case of Retrograde Amnesia. We ran a few tests and it seems like his memories are already coming back, but the most recent memories will take a little longer to come back, as is the case with most cases of Retrograde Amnesia.” A doctor stated, looking at Changbin’s parents and then him. 

“So, what should we do? What happens once he’s released from the hospital?” His mother asked, her voice full of worry and uncertainty. 

“Well,” The doctor began, “Since he’s retained his basic functions, I think it would be best to just let him back into the schedule he had prior to the accident. It’ll help coax the memories out faster.”

“Wait.” Changbin said. “What accident.”

His parents looked over at him. 

“Oh, Honey, it’s nothing. You fell and hit your head is all.” His mother coughed. A lie. 

If he’d fallen and hit his head, how the hell did he end up with second degree burns all over his body? He didn’t say anything, just kept it to himself. If his parents wanted to keep it from him, then he’d just have to find out what happened for himself. 

The doctor then went over some details Changbin didn’t bother to listen to, then left. His parents were still there. 

“Changbin, you’ll have to stay in the hospital for another week, so until then, rest up okay? We’ll come visit when we can, but I’m sure Felix, Chris, and Han will come and visit you everyday.” His mother said. 

That Felix kid. Changbin had remembered a few things about him. Felix was his age, and they’d known each other since birth. Felix moved to Australia to live with his grandparents when they were in Elementary; but Felix came back for winter, spring, and summer break. He remembered fireworks sparkling in their eyes, napping in the afternoon sun, snowball fights, and tons of other things. 

It seemed like his life revolved around Felix. Spending time with Felix, talking to Felix, looking at Felix, thinking about Felix. 

He was clueless as to why until one day, when it was just them two, Felix was sitting with him. A little too close for comfort, even. They were sat like that, sharing personal space and soft glances. Felix scrambled to get up when he realized it was getting late, grabbing his bag and phone. He stood staring at Changbin, as if he was making a difficult decision. With a sigh, he sat back down next to him. Felix leaned in closer than ever, then pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. 

Were they… a thing? 

The memory that followed was interesting. 

Him and Felix were sat on a hill waiting for the Summer Festival light show to start. He didn't remember how they got there. They'd snuck a bottle of Soju to share in his backyard, and the last thing he remembered after that was running wildly when his mother found them. Even under their summer tans, both of them were flushed from the alcohol. 

They sat shoulder to shoulder, pressed together even in the lingering heat from the day. The wind was blowing, so he didn't mind. He looked over at Felix, who was staring up at the stars, charmed by the light twinkling in his eyes. A smile bloomed on Felix's face as he turned to look at Changbin. Felix was the prettiest boy in his eyes. He loved the golden glow of his skin, the way each and every freckle on his face was imperfectly perfect, creating strings of constellations. If only he could explain how the sparkle in Felix's eye made his heart race faster and faster every second. If only he could explain why he wanted to kiss him so badly. Felix's lips were right in front of him, in all their soft, pink glory. He'd do anything to get a taste. 

They were closer than ever, then. Noses touching, breaths mingling. He was staring right into Felix's eyes, and he, and he was staring back. Changbin could feel electricity humming under his skin; it was electrifying being so close. He searched Felix’s eyes for something, anything to tell him what he wanted, and he found it. A blaze of yearning burned inside of Felix’s eyes. He was already leaning in, so Changbin closed the gap between them.

There wasn’t anything more after that. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t muster up any details after that. He couldn’t even tell when that was, but he could tell that something was off. Felix was so obviously still in love with him, but he didn’t feel it. Even if he’d lost his memories, the love would still be there right? There was no explanation as to why sparks didn’t fly when he looked into Felix’s eyes. No explanation for his calm heart beat anytime Felix sat too close. 

What happened to him?


	2. Chapter 2: Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry this took so long, I'm trying to churn out so much stuff right now lol, but please enjoy this chapter, donate some kudos and a comment, and thank you for reading!

It was his last day at the hospital. The last week had been filled with medication upon medication, skin grafts, and daily check-ups. He was glad it was over, but it wasn’t all that bad. Felix and a few of his friends came to visit. 

Everyday, Felix came to visit, bringing two boys, Jisung and Chris. Jisung was a character. He had orange hair, round eyes and cheeks, and he talked endlessly. Questions were thrown at him faster than he could think, and he wanted to be annoyed, but Jisung was just concerned. Chris, or Chan, like he asked Changbin to call him, was significantly more relaxed than Jisung, though he was just as concerned as he was. Chan reassured him that everything would fall into place again, everyone would help him on the road to recovery. 

He couldn’t really do anything with them, so they simply came to hangout with him. Felix and Jisung played video games, Chan sat right by his side, typing away at a silver laptop. Occasionally, Chan would ask him for an opinion. It seemed like he was working on something music related. When he asked, Chan told him he was a music major in college, he’d been studying for two years already. Chan also mentioned that Changbin was still in high school. That meant Felix was still in high school, too. He wondered if they were in the same grade. 

That day was the same as the days passed. Chan was busy composing, and Felix was playing games with Jisung. His parents would be there in about an hour to come get him once they released him. He was kept entertained by listening to Chan’s melodic creations, letting the beautiful sounds take over. Each song was different from the next, never the same, but still as lovely as the last. He was also reintroduced to him, Jisung, and Chan’s raps. He really wasn’t so sure he was actually in the song, the boy he heard was someone he didn’t know, someone who was… filled with emotions he couldn’t remember experiencing. Old Changbin sounded broken and defeated, angry at the world, filled with anger and rage at something. It was different from the Changbin Felix told him about. The Changbin who was sweeter than honey, the Changbin who loved his friends more than life. The Changbin who gave everything his all and was embarrassingly optimistic. The Old Changbin and Felix’s Changbin couldn’t have been the same person, there was just no way. It could’ve just been that Felix was sugarcoating things since they were an item, making miniscule details shine brighter than needed. Felix seemed the type to do something like that. He was sweet, caring, happier than happy, and actually adorable. Being the epitome of literal sunshine held the possibility of sugarcoating and white lies. In fact, he’s caught Felix telling him lies already. 

Felix insisted on telling him that he’s fine, he’s getting sleep, he’s eating, etc., but Changbin can tell he was doing no such thing. The bags under Felix’s eyes were bigger than when he’d first seen him in the hospital. There was no sparkle in his eye unlike in the pictures he’d been shown, and he could tell Felix wasn’t feeling well. He had less and less energy when visiting Changbin that week, and the amount of talking they did dwindled even though he knew Felix could go on talking forever. Felix was probably telling him he was fine so that he wouldn’t worry, but it didn’t stop him when he saw the signs so clearly. He hoped that once he was out, Felix wouldn’t be so stressed. 

They were sat there for hours, longer than they’d intended to. Changbin wondered if the doctor had changed his mind, but when his parents arrived, telling him that they’d be ready to go in a few minutes, he tossed the thought away. His friends helped him gather up his things, just a few books, some headphones, his phone, and a charger. 

They were packed into a sleek, black SUV, except for Chan who had his own car, and then they were off. Changbin was smushed in between Felix and Jisung. Felix was leaning on his shoulder, showing him something on his phone, some pictures of them from a while ago. The warmth from being pressed together was… weird, but familiar, and comfortable. Jisung was also leaning into his space, but it wasn’t as comfortable. He wondered if they shared personal space like that before. 

The ride wasn’t long, only taking 5 minutes at the most, and when they arrived, Changbin could say he was taken aback. What he’d expected was a normal home, like the ones you’d find in every other suburb, but no, the house in front of him was something else. While it wasn’t anything close to the size of a mansion, the house was big. There was three floors, a three car garage, a long driveway, and an unnecessarily huge lawn. So, that was how he found out his parents had money. 

Inside, his parents left Jisung, Felix, and Chan to show him to his room and become familiar with the house again. His room, on the third floor, was interesting. The walls were painted slate grey, a four poster bed was situated on the right wall when you walked in, he had several shelves around the room, a black desk, a walk-in closet, and a little room filled with recording equipment. Posters decorated the walls, too. Most of them were for groups and artists he couldn’t remember, but there was one poster he could remember. It was 3RACHA. Him, Chan, and Jisung were dressed in all black, glaring at the viewer with fiery gazes, and their name was splattered in red over their heads. He couldn’t remember much about it other than the surge of joy he felt when he saw it. 

He set his bag down on his desk, running a hand over the wood. There was stacks upon stacks of papers on it. Most of it was music, he found. Chan walked over to stand by his side. 

“This one,” He said, picking up a stack of five pages, “Is for our next album. We’ve been working on it for months, and you wrote this for Jisung.” He put the papers down and flashed him a blinding smile. 

Changbin nodded thoughtfully. So he was a songwriter…. Interesting. There was a lot he was learning about himself just from being back at his home. He’d never guess he was the type to hang posters around his room, or have bookcases filled with books and notebooks filled with who knows what. 

“Hey, Changbin, you wanna go look around?” He heard Felix say behind him. He honestly wasn’t in the mood for taking another trip down memory lane. Besides, he’d figure it out himself pretty quickly. 

“No. I already remember the house.” He lied, walking over and sitting on his bed. 

“That’s great, yeah?” Felix said, plopping down next to him. “You’ll be back to normal in no time.”

“Yeah…” Changbin whispered. 

“So what’s the plan now?” Jisung asked. He was standing in front of Changbin, looking down at him, head cocked to the side. 

“Uh. I don’t know? What did we use to do?” He replied, looking back up at him. 

“We used to go hang out at me n’ Woojin’s, mostly.” Chan put in. Woojin?

“That’s Chan’s boyfriend, by the way. They live together, go to school together, and they’re basically married. Cute, right?.” Jisung said, turning to look at Chan. Changbin nodded again, he’d probably need to see a picture, but the name sounded familiar. 

“Anyways,” Chan grinned, “I’m pretty sure your parents don’t want you going out too much, so that’s not an option.” 

“We could go to my room and play games?” Felix suggested, but wait, Felix had a room in his house? Well, not a big surprise because the house had so many rooms, but he wouldn’t have guessed that Felix was staying with them. 

“Alright.” Changbin said, looking at Felix. There was a smile growing on his face, freckles crowding together, and the corner of his eyes were crinkling. Cute. 

“Let’s go then!” Jisung grabbed Changbin’s arms and hoisted him up. He followed him out the room and down the hall. Felix’s room was only two rooms away on the opposite side of the hall. Inside, it was completely different from Changbin’s. The walls were painted yellow, with small flowers painted in the corners, and the moulding was a pearly white. An oak frame held a mattress seemingly too big for its size to their left. There was a desk right in front of them, carved with an intricate pattern, but the top was covered in a mess of papers, snacks, and knick-knacks. Multicolored bean bags were scattered across the floor in front of a giant flat screen on the wall. 

“Alright everyone, welcome, and enjoy your stay!” Felix laughed. “I’ve got almost any game you could ask for, so who wants to pick?” 

“OH! Let’s play Mario Kart!” Jisung said, sitting on one of the bean bags. 

“On one condition.” Chan said. “Nobody screams. At all.”

“Deal.” Jisung nodded. 

That deal didn’t last for long. 

The first race consisted of Felix and Jisung shoving each other while Chan helped Changbin remember how to play. At the last second, Jisung knocked Felix’s wiimote out of his hands and took first place. He let out a victory screech then shoved Felix off of his seat. Felix shouted out a string of curses while diving for the controller before any more damage could be done. Changbin ended up in 5th place, surprisingly, he was in last the whole time. When they’d all finished, Chan not so sweetly reminded the two next to him about the deal. The last few races were basically the same, except Chan, who wasn’t busy fighting with someone else, ended up winning 1st in all the races. Changbin was stuck with his 4th and 5th place, but he didn’t really care, he was having fun. He even laughed at Jisung and Felix rolling around on the carpet, wrestling over a wiimote. Eventually, they moved onto another game, some fighting game called Street Fighter. Chan had moved in between Felix and Jisung so they wouldn’t fight, placing Changbin with Felix to his left. He originally opted out of that one, but when he saw Felix and Jisung pressing any and every button, he decided he could give it a try. 

When it came his turn, with him against Jisung, Felix helped him pick a character. 

“Here,” Felix said, “This guy’s easy to play, and Jisung hates him.”

Changbin snorted softly, just a puff of air escaping him, and chose whoever Felix was talking about. Like he’d said, the character was easy to play, and Jisung did in fact hate him, stating it in rage several times. In the end, Changbin lost because he wasn’t too good at the button mashing technique Felix and Jisung used. He guessed they knew something he didn’t. 

Chan, he noted, reigned supreme when it came to gaming. No matter what game they played, Chan always came out on top. Of course, Jisung and Felix tried their best to win against him, even teaming up to take him down, but alas, Chan was too powerful. He claimed that he had years more gaming knowledge than them, but he wasn’t even 2 years older than them. 

They played games for what seemed like hours, having fun, arguing, and making each other laugh. Changbin had a great time. He felt so alive when he was with them, he could only imagine how fun it was when the whole group got together. Chan and Jisung took their leave when the sun started to set because, “My mom still has me on curfew. It’s a damn shame,” according to Jisung, and Chan was Jisung’s ride. Changbin was surprised with goodbye hugs and a pat on the back from Chan. After they left, it was just him, and Felix. 

“So…” Felix coughed. “Uh, you wanna eat dinner or somethin’?” 

“I’m not really hungry, but if you want to eat, I’ll go with you.” Changbin said, rising from his seat. Felix beamed at him and said, “Let’s go then!”

They went downstairs and into the kitchen. There were several pots on the stove, simmering away, but there was no one in the kitchen. 

“Jisung’s mom sent him over with all this, earlier. She wanted you to eat some real food, knowing your mom can’t cook.” Felix said. He walked over to a cabinet and pulled out several bowls. “You sure you don’t want any? Mrs. Han’s food is to die for.”

Changbin shook his head. “No, I’m just not hungry right now.”

“Alright, more for me, then.” Felix grinned. He told Changbin he could wait for him at the dining table, which was in the dining room he claimed to know the location of. There was a doorway on the opposite side of the kitchen, so he tried going that way but was stopped when Felix asked where he was going. 

“It’s the next room over, Binnie, I thought you remembered?” Felix said. Well, that was new, Felix calling him Binnie.

“O-oh, yeah, sorry. Most of it’s back, not everything.” Changbin turned around and walked out of the kitchen. Indeed, the next room over was the dining room. It had a long, dark wood table with matching chairs set around it. Some sort of crystalline chandelier hung over the table, casting rainbows all over the walls. He took a seat. The chair was surprisingly comfortable.

Felix joined him a minute later, carrying three bowls precariously, trying to balance them all. Before Changbin could get up to help, the bowls were all on the table. The biggest one was filled to the brim with some sort of soup. It smelled like ginger and garlic, and had pieces of chicken and some green vegetable in it. The other bowls had rice and kimchi in them. 

“Mrs. Han makes the best Samgyetang I’ve ever had.” Felix said after taking a sip of the soup. Changbin let out an ‘oh’ in response. He’d have a proper opinion tomorrow, he thought to himself. 

“So,” Felix began, “Jeongin and Woojin wanna come see you tomorrow. Woojin has work most of the week, but he’s off tomorrow, and Jeongin just got back from some summer camp.”

“Okay. When are they coming?” Changbin asked, trying to remember the two of them. 

“Chan’s bringing them around 12 if that’s okay. They really wanna see you.” Felix said. Changbin nodded, too focused to say anything. He could remember Jeongin. He was two years younger than them and went to the same school. Wait, why weren’t they in school? Was it summer break?

“Um, Felix, are we on summer break?” He asked, looking over at the teen. 

“Wait. Are you serious?” He said in disbelief. 

“Uh, yeah?”

“Changbin, we graduated, like, two months ago.” Felix answered. Changbin let out another ‘oh’, only smaller that time. They graduated, which meant that they’d be off to college soon. Or did he opt for a gap year? He’d remember sooner or later. 

They chatted idly as Felix ate, talking about small things, like where Woojin worked and what he was studying in college. He was on track to become a physician, working as a nurse at a children’s hospital not too far from the campus, and wanted to work in pediatrics. Changbin didn’t have much else to help him piece together who Woojin was. All he had was: Chan’s boyfriend, nurse, and one of his friends. Jeongin was another mystery. All Felix said about him was that he was basically their child, nothing else. 

When Felix finished, he’d ran into the kitchen with his dishes then came back empty-handed. He then said that since it was getting late, about 9:30 p.m., Changbin should get some rest. The doctor had told him that he needed to get plenty of sleep if he wanted to heal faster. So, they went upstairs and Felix gave him a goodnight hug, then left to his own room. 

Inside his room, Changbin walked over to his desk where he left his bag and grabbed his phone. He opened it while walking over to his bed then crawled in. He hadn’t really gone through his phone while he was in the hospital. He had his friends to keep him company and keep him entertained. First, he scrolled through his pictures. They were mostly of him and Felix, along with people he guessed were his friends. He recognized Jeongin in quite a few pictures. There was a picture of Jisung sitting on some guy’s lap, who looked like he didn’t want to be there, and someone else sitting next to them. They were… at a restaurant, well, it looked more like a bar than anything, but he couldn’t really tell. 

After he was done looking at pictures, he went through his messages. There were quite a few. Several from Woojin and Jeongin, then some from people named Hyunjin, Minho, and Seungmin. He frowned, seeing that most of the messages were frantic, concerned, and panicked. One read, “Changbin PLEASE tell me yuo’re ok, just let me know as soon as posssible ok,” and another, “Where are you Changbin we’ve been looking all over for you! Text me back asap,”. What in the world was old Changbin doing? He moved onto voicemail. 

At first, they were just his mom and Felix calling, asking where he was. He was probably out somewhere, and the messages were left late in the evening, so he could’ve just been out, yeah. The next few calls were from Seungmin and Woojin. He didn’t recognize either of their voices, but they, too, were asking where he was. So that threw out the going out because where would he be without his friends? He skipped a few and clicked on one from Felix. He was… crying, sobbing actually, begging Changbin to pick up the phone and telling him he loved him. It made his heart clench, his stomach twist. He turned the phone off and threw it to the side. 

He couldn’t imagine, no, couldn’t remember anything that would make Felix cry like that. It had to be something serious, but he just couldn’t remember. He couldn’t even try, he was too tired to. So he tried to sleep. 

He spent hours tossing and turning, not being able to fall asleep, and when he checked the time, it read 2:03 a.m. He sighed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. He probably wouldn’t be getting any sleep that night. That voicemail from Felix was haunting him. Just, how could he make Felix cry? Felix was the sweetest guy he knew, he just couldn’t comprehend the situation. The whole mystery of what happened to him was getting more and more confusing, but he didn’t have a lot to go on. Nobody would tell him anything, and relying on his memories to come back could take months. He was in this alone. 

He sighed, rolling back on his side and closing his eyes, but then heard a knock on his door. He sat up and the door creaked open, revealing Felix. His eyes were red and puffy, like he’d been crying. 

“Changbin? Did I wake you up?” He asked, coming in and closing the door behind himself. 

“No. I can’t sleep.” Changbin shook his head. 

“Oh,” Felix chuckled, “Me either… would you mind, um, c-could I uh… could I sleep with you tonight?” 

Changbin paused. “Oh… um. Yeah.”

Felix’s face immediately lit up, and he climbed in next to him. Felix let out a sigh as he snuggled into Changbin’s back, throwing an arm over his waist. Changbin was frozen. He didn’t know what he was expecting when Felix said he wanted to sleep with him, but he was still surprised. His heartbeat was picking up, which he guessed was a good thing. He’d fallen in love with Felix once, and Felix probably wanted him to be in love with him again, so why not?

He closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth coming from Felix, and drifted off into sleep.


End file.
